My Mother – My Nightmare!!!!

I caused it all. I know I did. It’s all my fault. Yes it is. Or is it? Is it?? When a child is being raised in a Particular way, is it wrong for her to base all her words, thoughts, judgements and actions on the way that she was raised? If it is wrong for her to do so then it is all my fault but if it is not wrong for her to do so then it is all my mothers fault. Yes, my mothers fault. For bringing me up like this, with this wrong mentality and ideologies.

My name is Susan and I am the only child of a particular single parent who happens to be my mother. Right from when I began to know my left from my right my mother began inculcating in me and ringing it in my ears about how selfish and wicked all men were. She said they were never to be trusted and did not deserve to walk the face of this earth. Why was she this bitter you ask? It’s because she was a victim of a disastrous relationship with a man and I was the final result.

My mum met my dad(feels so awkward calling him this) in her early twenties. She said they both fell in love with one another(maybe only she did) and began talking marriage almost immediately. She said he went to see her parents and everything as regards their marriage was put into full gear. Two months to their wedding, my mum discovered she was pregnant and when she told my dad, she said he wanted to run mad with joy and happiness and even began naming me on the spot(I never got to use any of the names though). Long story cut short, my dad did not show up on the wedding day, moved out of town and left a note for my mum that he had a wife and children in the village and couldn’t afford to hurt them like that. And yes, he also asked for her forgiveness.

My dad could not afford to hurt his wife and children in the village but he could afford to lie to my mum, get her pregnant, deceive her, hurt her, abandon her and make her a laughing stock. I know you maybe thinking and saying to yourself that what my mum went through still wasn’t enough reason for her to bring me up with the type of mentality and ideologies that she did but I want you to remember that we are all human and react to things in different ways.

I grew up and went through life with the teachings about men that my mother inculcated into me. During my youth service, I met and fell in love with the best man on the surface of the earth today. Emmanuel. Emmanuel was God sent to me. He was nothing like what my mother told me about men so I refused to tell her about him because I didn’t want her to spoil this feeling and relationship that I was building with Emmanuel. Emmanuel was from a totally different background than what I was used to. He was from a home filled always with laughter, love, joy, peace, freedom, lovers of God, unity,etc. I wasn’t used to any of these things. I was only used to nights sitting beside my mum where she goes on and on about sadness and hatred caused by men.

I remember the first time Emmanuel took me to his home to spend the weekend with his Dad, Mum and Two Sisters. I felt so out of place but they were all so nice and kind to me and tried to make me feel comfortable. After our youth service, I got a job in a Bank and Emmanuel got a job in an oil company. After two months of working, Emmanuel proposed to me. I said yes but I was so scared cos I was going to finally tell my mum about Emmanuel and I. When i finally did tell her, she didn’t seem happy or sad. She was just indifferent about the whole issue. Emmanuel and I got married exactly three months after he proposed. That was when my nightmare began.

As married couples, we were bound to have issues and I made the mistake of thinking I could confide in my mum. Thinking back now I realize that my mum used me to do to Emmanuel, all what she never had the chance to do to my dad for hurting her. Every time Emmanuel and I had issues, I would run to mum for advice and she began dishing out her devilish advices. I was too stupid to have realized then. I began suspecting my husbands every move for no just cause and made the home too hot for him to bear. I changed totally from the woman he met and fell in love with during his youth service. My mother used me in frustrating my husband until he finally filed for a divorce. I still did not realize my mistakes then and retrace my steps until the divorce was finalized and I was out of his house.

Now I am back in my mothers house only to realize that I was being manipulated by my mother to destroy my home with my own hands which I did. Why must I live the kind of life she lived?? Why does this woman hate me so much?? Her own child that she gave birth to. Why wouldn’t she want my happiness?? Why????

*This Write-Up is a figment of Mahin Nosa Alakiri’s imagination and is meant for entertainment/educative/informative purpose only. No name mentioned here bears resemblance to anyone in real life. Don’t forget to drop your comments*

Letter To My Husband!!!!

If you have a blog or are in tune with blogging then this particular blog post will not be strange to you but if you do not have a blog, let me update you on what this post is all about. It has been a trend now for some bloggers to write letters to their future husbands, wife and unborn children in order to intimate them on some things they would want them to know about. We know that someday when these people finally come to be, they will log on to our blogs, read the letter that was left for them even before they came into being and either laugh about it or consider it seriously. The final impact that the letter has on the intended reader upon reading it is dependent on the initial intent of the writer. It is based on this that I have decided to take mine serious!!

Dear Husband,

I have a feeling that I have finally found you but whether I have or not, I still want you to know somethings.

First there are three basic things that I would want you to always remember about me. They are: 1)The things that I am (I am a woman of God, Born Again, Beautiful, Loving, Homely and Humble). 2)The things that I love doing (I love watching movies, listening to good music, singing, dancing, reading, writing and cooking). 3)The things that make me different from anyone else on the surface of the earth (CEO of Diamond Home, Diamond College and Diamond Productions). If you have a problem with me being any of these things then realise now that you are not the man for me. So I would advice you to stop reading this letter at this point, call me up and end everything between us. Yes, it will not be easy for me at first but I will be fine in the long run. Trust me!!

Now I want you to know what I want and expect you to be as someone who happens to be married to me. I expect you to be born again. I expect you to have a right relationship with God, know God, love God and serve him all the days of your life. I expect you to be someone who is out to fulfill his purpose and destiny in life. I want to you to have the fear of God in you always. I expect you to be someone who has complete respect for women. I expect you to ask God daily to shield you from strange women who will come into your life to tempt you and cause you to cheat on me. I expect you to have a right relationship with me and true love for me. I expect you to be a loving father to our kids and a good role model to them. I expect you to love and live in peace with members of my family. I expect you to have a right personality that suits my personality. I expect you to understand and run with my vision in life as regards my career. I want you to always be there for me whenever I need you. I expect you to have a forgiving heart. I expect you to be a good son, lover, husband, friend and father to me. I want the both of us to be very close friends without any iota of greed in any of us. I expect you to have a sound faith and walk before God. I expect you to be honest and be of a good integrity. I expect you to be compassionate and have a good sense of humour. I expect you to be perseverant and playful. Lastly, you are definitely going to be Tall, Dark, Handsome and Rich!

Yes, I used the word definitely because after the first criteria of being someone that knows, serves and fears God, being tall, dark, handsome and rich is the next imperative criteria. So, honey if you know now that you are not and cannot be ALL of these things that I have mentioned here please I beg you in the name of God, as I said earlier on, call me up NOW and end everything between us immediately. But if you are and can be ALL these things that I have mentioned here then welcome into my world baby!!

Your Wife,

Mahin Nosa Alakiri.

*This Write-Up was written by Mahin Nosa Alakiri*

Marital Incompatibility!!!!

I ran into a friend of mine lately and the discussion that took place between us was what prompted this particular blog update. She just broke off her engagement with her fiancé/live-in-lover and we sat down to talk about what went on. She met this particular guy a year ago, they fell in love, stated dating and moved in together. I remember when I first heard that she moved in with him, I called her to register my disapproval. Not that it mattered but I just figured that what are friends for if not for inconveniences and telling each other the simple truth when need be? I do not, can not and will not support two people in a relationship, living together under the same roof as man and wife all under the façade of being stupidly in love and about to get married. Ask Stephanie Okereke what the outcome was when she tried it in the movie: Reloaded!! Yeah, I know some of you were expecting me to give you some biblical examples instead but as a theatre artiste this was the first example to come to mind so you will have to manage it like that.

Anyway, this friend of mine started our conversation by saying that she thanks God for giving her the opportunity to live with her fiancé that if she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have known that they were that incompatible. Imagine!! You committed a sin and now you are thanking God for the opportunity to commit that sin?? Ain’t that blasphemy?? Lord please have mercy on your children(Amen)!! Well I decided to probe deeper into the incompatibility issue and that was when she told me that it was when she began to live with him that she discovered he is obsessed with politics and sports, and she is not. He loves red wine, she loves white wine. He loves coffee, she doesn’t joke with her beverage. He doesnt like even a pinch of pepper, she loooooooves peper. He loves fried egg, she loves boiled egg. He loves red meat, she loves white meat. He presses the toothpaste from the middle and she doesn’t like it. He drops his wet towel on the bed and it infuriates her. He loves them spending an hour before going to bed to talk about their days event, she likes it sometimes too but whenever she isn’t in the mood to talk, he gets pretty upset. He’s not romantic and too african while she loves romantic men. Lastly, he loves acting and being an idiot but she loves him not being one. Yes!! Those words are not typographical errors!! They are the real reasons why she broke off her engagement, moved out of his house and moved back into her fathers house. Wow!! How I wish I also had a father who would accept me into his house after moving out of his house and into another mans house who isn’t my husband!!

My question here is: What is wrong with we ladies of nowadays?? Why would you think that you have to live with a man in order to find out whether you are compatible or not?? The intimacy that is to be achieved during marriage is different from that which should be achieved during dating/courtship. Don’t get it twisted, I am not a relationship expert but I believe that there are some core things about relationships that should be known, understood and practiced by we youths of today. If we do not get it right in dating, we will not get it right in marriage and definitely not get it right in our kids because we would have inculcated the wrong teachings in them. This issue of the right way to go about having and maintaining our relationships is paramount in the lives of many youths today so we should do all we can in order to go about it the right way. When we do, we will be proud of ourselves, our parents will be proud of us, our kids will be proud of us and God will be proud of us!!!!

Have a great week and be a friend to someone today!!

*This Write-Up was written by Mahin Nosa Alakiri*

African Movie Academy Awards!!!!

As a bonafide Theatre Practitioner, the African Movie Academy Awards can not come and go without me giving you all some inside scoops on what went down. The seventh edition of the Annual African Movie Academy Awards (AMAA) took place at The prestigious Gloryland Cultural Centre, Yenagoa, Bayelsa State, and it was well-attended by various Nigerian movie stars including Mike Ezuruonye, Majid Michel, Joke Silva, Jim Iyke, Kate Henshaw, Chika Ike, Queen Nwokoye, Chinedu Ikedieze (Aki), Ini Edo, Rita Dominic, Genevieve Nnaji, Omoni Oboli, among others.
Most of our Nollywood female stars were really well dressed and set a trend in their lovely evening gowns, shoes and purses. Some other female stars still need to go back to the drawing board and learn again from the ones setting the trend. Infact, their outfits were so bad that you’ll be ashamed to introduce them as one of your Nollywood stars. Our male Nollywood stars did not have much problems. Most of them came out in well tailored suits and native attires too but some still did look like trash in their outfits. You’ll notice am not naming names here and that is because we now have someone in the industry in the name of FashionPoliceNG to handle all that aspect. You can also follow her on twitter @FashionPoliceNG to keep yourself updated in the dressing trend of our Nollywood stars.
Notable/Unforgettable performances on the night of the award ceremony included our own Nigerian pop duo, P-square, who wowed the audience with their dance routines as usual.
Now to the award ceremony proper; the Congolese movie ‘Viva Riva’, which initially led with 13 nominations, received the most awards on the night; an outstanding number of six awards were for Best Production Design, Best Cinematography, Best Director (Djo Tunda Wa Munga), Best Actor in Supporting Role (Hoji Fortuna), Best Actress in Supporting Role (Marlene Longage) and Best Film.
What was surprising to us all though was that our Nigerian star actresses, Genevieve Nnaji and Omoni Oboli, who were up against each other in the Best Actress in Leading Role category for the movies, ‘Tango with me’ and ‘Anchor baby’ respectively, both lost out to Amake Abebrese for the movie ‘Sinking Sand’.
However, Nigeria bagged five awards on the night. They included Edward Kagutuzi in the movie ‘Mirror Boy’ for Best Young actor, ‘Inale’ for Best Soundtrack, ‘In America: The Story Of The Soul Sisters’ by Rahman Oladigbolu for Best Film for African Abroad and ‘Aramotu’ for Best Costume Design and Best Nigerian Film by Niji Akanni.
Heres a complete list of the award winners:

Best Short Film: Dina – Mickey Fonseca (Mozambique)

Best Short Documentary: After The Mine – Diendo Hamadi & Dinta Wa Lusula (DRC)

Best Documentary: Kondi Et Le Jeudi Nationale – Ariana Astrid Atodji (Cameroun)

Best Diaspora Feature: Suicide Dolls – Keith Shaw (USA)

Best Diaspora Documentary: Stubborn As A Mule – Miller Bargeron Jr & Arcelous Deiels (USA)

Best Diaspora Short Film: Precipice – Julius Amedume (UK)

Best Film For African Abroad: In America: The Story Of The Soul Sisters- Rahman Oladigbolu (Nigeria/USA)

Best Achievement In Sound: Shirley Adams (South Africa)

Best Achievement In Editing: Soul Boy (Kenya)

Best Production Design: Viva Riva (Congo)

Best Achievement In Makeup: Sinking Sands (Ghana)

Best Costume Design: Aramotu (Nigeria)

Best Nigeria Film: Aramotu by Niji Akanni

Best Child Actor: Sobahle Mkhabase (Thembi), Tschepang Mohlomi (Chili-Bite) And Sibonelo Malinga (Khwezi) – Izulu Lami (South Africa)

Best Soundtrack: Inale (Nigeria)

Best Actor In Supporting Role: Hoji Fortuna from Viva Riva (Congo)

Best Actress In Supporting Role: Marlene Longage- Viva Riva (Congo)

Best Visual Effects: A Small Town Called Descent (South Africa)

Best Young Actor: Edward Kagutuzi – Mirror Boy (Nigeria)

Best Actress In Leading Role: Ama K. Abebrese In Sinking Sands (Ghana)

Best Actor In Leading Role: Themba Ndaba – Hopeville (South Africa)

Best Cinematography: Viva Riva (Congo)

Best Screenplay: Sinking Sands (Ghana)

Best Film In African Language: Izulu Lami – Madoda Ncayiyana (South Africa)

Jury Special Award: Shirley Adams (South Africa)

Best Director: Viva Riva – Djo Tunda Wa Munga (Congo)

Best Film: Viva Riva – Djo Tunda Wa Munga (Congo)

Congo:

Best Production Design: Viva Riva (Congo)

Best Actor In Supporting Role: Hoji Fortuna from Viva Riva (Congo)

Best Actress In Supporting Role: Marlene Longage- Viva Riva (Congo)

Best Cinematography: Viva Riva (Congo)

Best Director: Viva Riva – Djo Tunda Wa Munga (Congo)

Best Film: Viva Riva – Djo Tunda Wa Munga (Congo)

South Africa:

Best Achievement In Sound: Shirley Adams (South Africa)

Best Child Actor: Sobahle Mkhabase (Thembi), Tschepang Mohlomi (Chili-Bite) And Sibonelo Malinga(Khwezi) – Izulu Lami (South Africa)

Best Visual Effects: A Small Town Called Descent (South Africa)

Best Actor In Leading Role: Themba Ndaba – Hopeville (South Africa)

Best Film In African Language: Izulu Lami – Madoda Ncayiyana (South Africa)

Jury Special Award: Shirley Adams (South Africa)

Ghana:

Best Achievement In Makeup: Sinking Sands (Ghana)

Best Actress In Leading Role: Ama K. Abebrese In Sinking Sands (Ghana)

Best Screenplay: Sinking Sands (Ghana)

Nigeria:

Best Costume Design: Aramotu (Nigeria)

Best Nigeria Film: Aramotu by Niji Akanni

Best Soundtrack: Inale (Nigeria)

Best Young Actor: Edward Kagutuzi – Mirror Boy (Nigeria)

Best Film For African Abroad: In America: The Story Of The Soul Sisters- Rahman Oladigbolu (Nigeria/USA)

Kenya:

Best Achievement In Editing: Soul Boy (Kenya)

Cameroun:

Best Documentary: Kondi Et Le Jeudi Nationale – Ariana Astrid Atodji (Cameroun)

Mozambique:

Best Short Film: Dina – Mickey Fonseca (Mozambique)

I don’t know what other people feel but I know that Nollywood is getting better and in just a matter of time we will get to that desired level in Jesus Name!!!!

*This Write-Up was written by Mahin Nosa Alakiri*